Back when I was still single and didn’t know how precious sleep was, I was already a bit OC (obsessive compulsive) with things. It showed in the way on how I keep a neat chronological flow during presentations in office meetings before, or even to how I keep my desk clutter free at all times. As a first time mom though, between the crying and constant diaper changing and attempting to straighten up our home, any thoughts of being OC flew out the diaper trash faster than you can say poops. I count myself lucky nowadays if I even have a few minutes to myself. Despite this though, old traits are hard to kill. I somehow managed to let a few slip through the crack.
I have read somewhere in the Internet about parenting types in raising their child. One of those that struck home is the “Helicopter Mom”. This type of mom is the one who hovers over the child constantly, the one who you can spot at a playground instructing her kid how to play, and diligently covering her child’s assignment from school. In short, an overparenting mom. I literally sat back and asked myself if I am falling trap into the category. I have been so busy taking care of my kid that I didn’t realised if I am even being an effective parent.
Being one of the youngest in the entire family clan, I never saw what it was like raising a kid. I never saw what it was like looking after a child, or on how to guide them. I’m as clueless as a first timer mom I can be.
A quick scroll on my phone through the net told me the affirmation I was looking for. What I found are these:
By 14 months, my baby should be able to eat by himself with guidance, drink from a cup, walking on his own, and chattering up with at least five words. I think I was hovering a little bit too much on my toddler that I realized I wasn’t giving her any chance to do things herself, thereby unintentionally delaying her supposed milestones. For instance, since her sixth month, I have been giving her congee for all meals. I just change the toppings I put in her food. I think I was too scared to let try new things thinking she cannot handle it yet. Yet when I gave her table food a few days back, bits of sliced chicken and rice, she ate it all just fine. I was also worrying why she isn’t walking yet but when I make a quick run through her daily schedule, it may be because I keep carrying her and not giving her a chance to practice walking. (Don’t worry, she’s walking great now since I let her roll around in her walker to her hearts content)
When I realized all these, I quickly rebooted my own actions towards my daughter. I was too preoccupied of wanting to give her the best care that I’ve forgotten that she needs to learn things on her own.
It’s funny how we can learn a thing or two from our own kid. I will be mindful of not holding her back anymore, no matter how unintentional it is.
A mommy can always learn.